“Emotion is not opposed to reason. Emotions guide and manage thought in fundamental ways and complement the deficiencies of thinking. ”
I always ask a client this question: “If Thinking and Feeling got into a boxing match, who would win?”
*Hint: the correct answer is Feeling.
Our emotions are SO strong. We feel before we can think and comprehend. Have you ever had the hair on your neck raise and your heart start beating faster before even realizing there is potential danger? Our brains are hard-wired this way to protect us. We sense things before we can think through it.
And yet, we live in a highly intellectualized world where we value logic and rationality over emotion. We’ve placed rational logic on a pedestal and left emotion behind. Society has waged a war against emotions; specifically the ones that are viewed as negative: anger, sadness, jealousy, shame, despair, etc. It has become an insult to call someone “emotional” and most people think that being emotional is the opposite of being logical or rational.
But contrary to popular belief, emotions are not irrational. Do you hear me? Emotions are not the opposite of logic. There is always a good reason for why you feel whatever you feel. Emotions tell us so much about ourselves and what we hold near and dear to our hearts. Our emotions shape our inner world and determine how we behave in the world.
So, what if we tuned in to our emotions? What if we listened to the message they are trying to send us? What if we didn’t so quickly swat them away, invalidate them, and shame ourselves for having them? What if we got to know our emotions and started using them well, allowing them to guide us?
What if you did this with the people around you? What if you honored their emotions and used them as a glimpse into that person’s inner world? What if instead of trying to run away from the uncomfortable-ness, we could turn toward those emotions?
The more awareness we bring to our emotions, the more we can change its impact. The best way to regulate our difficult emotions is to share them in a safe place.